Comments 8

  1. Thank you for this. I left the church August 2017 at age 36. I left after my 12 year old nephew committed suicide and left a suicide note. I thought the church would give me comfort in death but this was the first time i experienced death and I found no comfort in that “I would see him one day again.” I found that I can actually be and feel him every day and there is just a transition of form that he went through but this was after a year of study of all texts and religions to find my peace. I also had a huge spiritual awakening to my own personal purpose and journey and self love. I felt like I was able to have more personal power and not feeling like I needed to rely on priesthood keys but that I had healing capabilities to heal myself. I didn’t have to rely on others for healing but grateful for healing and connection from those who did want to give empathy and sympathy and connection. But the emotional opening/trauma was intense so much I was hospitalized for 4 days where the horror of spiritual darkness was intense. but now I connect with words like universe, humanity, or Christ within and all humans, instead of God or Heavenly Father and Jesus, and Holy Ghost. Just changing the language itself felt so freeing and more inclusive instead of exclusive. I have been in therapy for a year now and I would have never gotten this far in my healing had I not had an outside therapist to talk about my true honest feelings. When your entire family is Mormon and your entire husbands family is Mormon you feel super alone because you know that if you go to them with these feelings they ask you to pray more or do more inside the church or do more temple work when the problem is your body and mind is exhausted. And it’s internal and scilenced because you feel so trapped. And a lot of it is hard because you used to believe in what your families did so you feel like you are leaving them behind and betraying them. I learned to thankful for all my experiences. My baby blessing my baptism my callings my 4 years in seminary and 6 plus years of institute, marriage inside the temple and happy to what I call graduation from the Mormon faith and moving to a broader expansional sense of humanity and personal journey and being okay that my journey is different From others and appreciate that individuality that frees me to appreciate the individuality in others as well.

  2. I grew up in a Christian home. During my teenage years I saw my so-called “Christian” friends not acting Christian at all. By my early 20s I had lost God and was determined to find him again. That brought me on a journey that didn’t expect and one that I am grateful for. I joined the LDS church at 21. I was an active and devoted member for about 16 years. The 17th year brought some very difficult times and eventually the separation from my husband. During the early days of the separation I found myself crying out to God. I began having a spiritual “reawakening” and began my transition out of the church. I have never felt angry at the church and I do look upon many years of fondness. I look at my time in the church as being a place where I could grow and prepare myself for something greater.

    I have often thought about what I’m grateful for in the church and these are just a few:
    1. It taught me to love myself and love my family. Up until I joined the church I was angry, defiant, and couldn’t tell my family I loved them. God used the church to help me change that.
    2. It brought me a sense of belonging in my early church years. Since I had joined the church in college, and I was a bit of a loner, it brought be friendships that would help me through my college years.
    3. It brought me to Utah, where I met my husband. True, our marriage didn’t last … but I’ll always be extremely grateful for the time that we did have together.
    4. It showed me that there were other people that lived my same standards that I grew up with.
    5. During my transition, my membership in the church has made me really appreciate the knowledge of Jesus that I had before I joined and renewed my fire to re-connect with Him and rebuild that relationship.

  3. I was just introduced to your podcast. After listening to this first episode, I find that my struggle not to be angry about my former faith is perhaps a bit futile. I’m hoping to be able to work through this part of my transition soon. I’m grateful for the support I’ve been able to find online, even if I can’t find it in those I already care about.

  4. I just started listening to this podcast and it has been a huge help to me. I love gratitude and I think it is such a great idea to focus on those things during this crisis. So I am grateful for this podcast, hahaha, I first came upon it while searching for ideas on how to talk to my kids, I also ended up listening to the parenting series and what a blessing that has been for our family already. We have been focusing on critial thinking with the kids while I transition out of the church (hubby is a nuance mormon and still wants to attend)

    I am grateful that mormonism gave me a strong value of family and love.

    I am grateful that mormonism taught me the value of values (ha!) and even if some might be different now between church and listening to the parenting podcast we are starting to form our own family values apart from church dogma and authority.

    I am grateful for my mormon community. We have lived away from family since marriage and our ward families have become our pseudo family and a huge influence in mine and my kids lives.

    I am grateful for my mormon friends, even though I don’t agree with the church truth claims and the validity of the church as a whole, I can acknowledge that I have wonderful friends that are genuinely good people trying to do the best and be the best person they can. I love them for that. I hope that they will still love me even while believing differently (have not told people yet)

    Through mormonism I was able to meet my wonderful husband during a YSA in the NY Westchester stake.

    I was able to attend a ward in the bronx which was my favorite time as an adult member in the church, that ward was so fun, probably because it was 80% new converts and mormon culture had not crept into them yet. Plus it was very diverse, I learned so much about culture and society living there.

    Mormonism taught me about spirituality. I still feel very spiritual and connected to some divine force. It might not look the same but I am grateful for that instruction.

  5. I am grateful that Mormonism helped me to connect deeply with myself at a very young age.

    I am grateful that in my teenage years, I believed that I had worth and value as a human being, as a soul, as something more than just a body. I had a higher self-esteem than your average high school girl.

    I am grateful for a level of fearlessness and invincibility that I felt when death was nothing to be afraid of.

    I am grateful that I avoided unwanted pregnancy, STI’s, addiction etc because of my adherence to the Word of Wisdom and the Law of Chastity.

    I’m grateful to have been a part of a global community where I could always feel united with and cared for by other members wherever I went in the world. I had overwhelmingly positive experiences within my church communities.

    I’m thankful for a strong sense of integrity, of believing that doing what you believe to be right is of the utmost importance.

  6. So grateful to have found this. My brother directed me to your podcast ( both he and his wife are experiencing a faith crisis as well.) At first I felt really “naughty” to consider listening to someone who was excommunicated from the church (sorry) but I have found your site and podcasts to be nothing but healing and very positive during this very hard time in my life. It has given me a new perspective on what I’m going through and able to view more of the positives instead of focusing on all the anger I’m dealing with right now. I’m slowly starting to love certain things the church has given me and refocus those things that I found harmful. I have a renewed freedom to be a better person, wife, mother and friend.

  7. My list of a few things I am grateful that Mormonism taught me.
    1- new experiences of doing different things as a younger me like river rafting, camping, cliff jumping, baking, speaking opportunities.
    2- Values
    3- Family is important even though I get mixed messages with this concept from my experiences, I can see the good of families.
    4- Community when you move someone is there to welcome you.
    5- Introduction to a spiritual background

  8. I would say my ‘faith crisis’ is about 10 years in the making and recently reached a final breaking point. It’s been such a slow process for me (38 now, ‘born in the covenant,’ family very active still) because I think it needed to be. Growing up in the church and struggling with addiction has helped me see that in many ways I am addicted to being Mormon. The pull and grip is has on me evokes similar emotions. The church is also a primary reason I developed an addiction in the first place…but that’s another story. I was always tethered to the notion that deep down I knew the truth of the BoM and that we needed of priesthood authority for ordinations. Grant Palmer helped me break that tether with fact, and your podcasts have helped me come to grips with it emotionally.
    That said, it’s amazing to see the tapestry God weaves into a life, which brings me to what I’m grateful for: Meeting my wife (part of this is not marrying certain people), self-reflection/improvement, the music…I love singing/performing those Hymns, gratitude, and my identity as a father. My journey is far from over, thank you for being candid and loving.

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