Comments 3

  1. Thank you for this. I left the church August 2017 at age 36. I left after my 12 year old nephew committed suicide and left a suicide note. I thought the church would give me comfort in death but this was the first time i experienced death and I found no comfort in that “I would see him one day again.” I found that I can actually be and feel him every day and there is just a transition of form that he went through but this was after a year of study of all texts and religions to find my peace. I also had a huge spiritual awakening to my own personal purpose and journey and self love. I felt like I was able to have more personal power and not feeling like I needed to rely on priesthood keys but that I had healing capabilities to heal myself. I didn’t have to rely on others for healing but grateful for healing and connection from those who did want to give empathy and sympathy and connection. But the emotional opening/trauma was intense so much I was hospitalized for 4 days where the horror of spiritual darkness was intense. but now I connect with words like universe, humanity, or Christ within and all humans, instead of God or Heavenly Father and Jesus, and Holy Ghost. Just changing the language itself felt so freeing and more inclusive instead of exclusive. I have been in therapy for a year now and I would have never gotten this far in my healing had I not had an outside therapist to talk about my true honest feelings. When your entire family is Mormon and your entire husbands family is Mormon you feel super alone because you know that if you go to them with these feelings they ask you to pray more or do more inside the church or do more temple work when the problem is your body and mind is exhausted. And it’s internal and scilenced because you feel so trapped. And a lot of it is hard because you used to believe in what your families did so you feel like you are leaving them behind and betraying them. I learned to thankful for all my experiences. My baby blessing my baptism my callings my 4 years in seminary and 6 plus years of institute, marriage inside the temple and happy to what I call graduation from the Mormon faith and moving to a broader expansional sense of humanity and personal journey and being okay that my journey is different From others and appreciate that individuality that frees me to appreciate the individuality in others as well.

  2. I grew up in a Christian home. During my teenage years I saw my so-called “Christian” friends not acting Christian at all. By my early 20s I had lost God and was determined to find him again. That brought me on a journey that didn’t expect and one that I am grateful for. I joined the LDS church at 21. I was an active and devoted member for about 16 years. The 17th year brought some very difficult times and eventually the separation from my husband. During the early days of the separation I found myself crying out to God. I began having a spiritual “reawakening” and began my transition out of the church. I have never felt angry at the church and I do look upon many years of fondness. I look at my time in the church as being a place where I could grow and prepare myself for something greater.

    I have often thought about what I’m grateful for in the church and these are just a few:
    1. It taught me to love myself and love my family. Up until I joined the church I was angry, defiant, and couldn’t tell my family I loved them. God used the church to help me change that.
    2. It brought me a sense of belonging in my early church years. Since I had joined the church in college, and I was a bit of a loner, it brought be friendships that would help me through my college years.
    3. It brought me to Utah, where I met my husband. True, our marriage didn’t last … but I’ll always be extremely grateful for the time that we did have together.
    4. It showed me that there were other people that lived my same standards that I grew up with.
    5. During my transition, my membership in the church has made me really appreciate the knowledge of Jesus that I had before I joined and renewed my fire to re-connect with Him and rebuild that relationship.

  3. I was just introduced to your podcast. After listening to this first episode, I find that my struggle not to be angry about my former faith is perhaps a bit futile. I’m hoping to be able to work through this part of my transition soon. I’m grateful for the support I’ve been able to find online, even if I can’t find it in those I already care about.

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