Benefits of a Mormon Faith Crisis – The Mega List

Friends – So many Mormons I meet experience significant fear when they go through a faith crisis – and yet so many of us who have successfully made it through a Mormon faith crisis will claim that it’s one of the best things that’s ever happened to us.

So…..I think we should work together to see if we can collectively put together a super long list of the benefits of a Mormon faith crisis.  After we’re done, maybe we can compile it into a book that can be gifted to Mormons in faith crisis – to give them a daily boost of hope.

So what say ye?  How many benefits can you list from your Mormon Faith Crisis?  Please post them in the comments below, and I’ll aggregate them to the list above, and give you credit!

  1. Self-directed charity, and I feel like my charitable contributions go to better causes, and make more of a difference.
  2. Better sex
  3. I look at porn way less than I did when I was a member (Anonymous)
  4. Healthier views on sexuality (Tammy Johnson Ellis)
  5. No more sad heaven/fear of losing family in eternities (Tammy Johnson Ellis)
  6. Unconditional love (Celeste Kinnard)
  7. Sundays/Sunday Funday/Second Saturday (Troy Emery)
  8. 10% / (1 – tax rate) raise (Kenn Mangum)
  9. Intrinsic morality – Deciding for myself what seems right/good to me. (Kami Escamilla Leatherwood)
  10. Intrinsic morality –  Doing good things because it’s good to do good things.  Avoiding harmful things because it’s not good to do harm (Susan Anderson)
  11. No LDS patriarchy (Heather DeKlerk Kester)
  12. No racism
  13. No iron age morality
  14. No assigned friendships – home teaching/ministering (Allison Green Moschetti)
  15. Deeper, more genuine friendships (Allison Green Moschetti, Lisa Hacking)
  16. Real intimacy
  17. Vulnerability
  18. Coffee (LeAnne Dudley)
  19. No Masonic-inspired temple ceremony (Michael Chard)
  20. Don’t have to idolize a sexual predator
  21. No polygamy
  22. Science
  23. No more masturbation guilt (Austin Skousen)
  24. Feminism
  25. No more LDS missionary work/feeling responsible for all (Becky Barnum)
  26. No more exceptionalism/superiority/enlightenment complex (Arielle Nicole Borcik)
  27. No more homophobia
  28. No polygamy
  29. Modern morality
  30. No worthiness interviews
  31. Real/true free-agency (Shannon Grover)
  32. Freedom of political party affiliation (Traci Gundersen)
  33. Less guilt and shame for things that aren’t shameful (Susan Dodge, Christie Christopherson)
  34. Higher self-esteem (Natalie Velasquez-Hatch)
  35. More supportive community (James J. Whitaker)
  36. Real, more authentic/genuine relationships (Dana Mountifield, Natalie Velasquez-Hatch)
  37. Less toxic relationships (Dana Mountifield)
  38. No garments “constant tucking” (Allison Green Moschetti)
  39. Better underwear (Michael Chard, Tracy Gittins) – “My first pair of non-garments since 1979 were BLACK with a guitar-playing alligator on them”
  40. Not living for the future
  41. Focus on the “Now” – Present moment (Rich Mildenhall)
  42. Evidence-based life (Joel E. Blankenship)
  43. Clearer vision of the world (Jeff Johnson)
  44. Authentic self-awareness – It’s like colors you’ve never seen before (Jenna Galbraith Wood)
  45. Self-reliance (Troy Bowman)
  46. Less narcissism (Katie Smith Brunelle)
  47. Better relationship with non-LDS family (Kathleen Hayes Saunders)
  48. Automatic worthiness (Amy Logan Wengreen)
  49. Free to pursue education (Maria Sharon Berry, November Larson Merzlock)
  50. No more fear of a wrathful god (Troy Bowman)
  51. No more fear of afterlife (Tammy Johnson Ellis)
  52. No more submission to false authority (Denise Bradfield)
  53. The gift of being wrong (John Larsen)
  54. Better intimacy, relationships, and conversations with children, due to less judgment (Melanie Kerby)
  55. Thinking critically and for myself (Tammy Johnson Ellis)
  56. More authentic happy vs. fake happy (Tammy Johnson Ellis)
  57. No repentance with bishop (Austin Skousen)
  58. Better therapist / no LDSFS (Austin Skousen)
  59. No 12 step addiction program for normal behavior (Austin Skousen)
  60. Less time in boring, meaningless church meetings (Ryan Christensen, Dana Miller)
  61. More time with spouse/children (Ryan Christensen)
  62. True appreciation for LGBTQ community (Anne Cloward)
  63. No longer have to view world as bad/scary/dangerous
  64. Discovery of big, wonderful world (Janelle Brinton)
  65. No fear of judgment day (Kaitlyn Potts)
  66. No Satan (Kaitlyn Potts)
  67. Freedom to decide own values (Rich Underwood)
  68. Letting go of how we appear to ward members (Mark Williams)
  69. More time for what you really value (Jan Anderson Judd)
  70. Learning to trust self (Mark Taylor)
  71. Less anxiety (Sharon Titus)
  72. No more panic attacks (Rene Swanepoel Hall)
  73. No more gaslighting (Sharon Titus)
  74. Sleeping in (Loralee Nunley)
  75. Empowerment (Robyn C. Stelter)
  76. Peace in uncertainty (Maoputasi Young Pearce)
  77. No superstition/supernatural world view (Michael Chard)
  78. Humility (Matthew Kern)
  79. Deep respect for others (Matthew Kern)
  80. Pants/No dresses for women (Julie Jefferies Paquette)
  81. More open-minded, tolerance, and willingness to consider other points of view (Jennie Hustead Larsen, Sara Herbert Fuqua)
  82. No more having to fit the Mormon woman stereotype (Julie Jefferies Paquette)
  83. Choice (Julie Cunningham)
  84. No working Mom guilt (Allison Green Moschetti)
  85. Tank tops! (Allison Green Moschetti)
  86. No more “us against them” (Allison Green Moschetti)
  87. Opportunity for self-improvement (Julie Cunningham)
  88. Greater self-fulfillment (Julie Cunningham)
  89. No longer feel constant anxiety that you aren’t good enough (Lisa Jolley Odaffer)
  90. Healthy boundaries with others (Haley Romberger Lewis)
  91. Differentiation (Haley Romberger Lewise)
  92. Clothes shopping is easier (Staci Braun Robinson)
  93. Moderate alcohol use to relax, have fun, social drinking (Nate Munson, Kristin Poulson)
  94. Wine (Karyn Albrecht Luke)
  95. No more black/white thinking (Tyler Slack)
  96. No more religious box checking (Tyler Slack, Michael Tubbs)
  97. Pride from having don’t the hard/courageous/honest thing and left (Nate Munson)
  98. No more prophet worship.  No more singing “Praise to the Man” (Denise Bradfield)
  99. Porn shoulders! (LeAnne Dudley)
  100. Self-acceptance (LeAnne Dudley)
  101. Thoughts are my own (Tyler Smith)
  102. Can dress appropriately for weather (Sara Herbert Fuqua)
  103. Weight of time spent on callings lifted (Sara Herbert Fuqua)
  104. Better self-care (Sara Herbert Fuqua)
  105. Everything makes sense now (Sara Herbert Fuqua)
  106. Women can have a voice and lead (Sara Herbert Fuqua)
  107. No more impossible standards (Susan P. Anderson)
  108. No more shoving myself into a box I don’t fit in (Susan P. Anderson)
  109. Actually resting on Sunday (Christie Christopherson)
  110. The joy of non-LDS friends (Rene Swanepoel Hall)
  111. Loss of inauthentic psuedo-relationships (Michelle Washburn Busk)
  112. Living a life closer to objective truth (Peter Bleakley)
  113. No more fear of speaking my mind and my truth (Peter Bleakley)
  114. No more fear of criticizing leaders when they are wrong (Peter Bleakley)
  115. Newfound love of learning (Patrick Edward Davis)
  116. No more Mormon mental gymnastics (Patrick Edward Davis)
  117. Letting go of the need to change others, and accepting/celebrating them instead (Patrick Edward Davis)
  118. Basing life on truth…even hard/painful truth (Patrick Edward Davis)
  119. Triathalon training and races on Sunday! (Patrick Edward Davis)
  120. No more Mormon-related cognitive dissonance (Sara Herbert Fuqua)
  121. Whiskey (Kyle Blake)
  122. Tipsy dancing (Heidi Oldroyd Cook)
  123. Gin and tonic
  124. No thought policing (Dan Madsen)
  125. The realization that I am strong (Michelle Lee Goodman)
  126. No more guilt around human needs and desires (Nikki Anne Schmutz)
  127. Learning to confront discomfort (Quinn Price)
  128. Real forgiveness (Quinn Price)
  129. Let go of the approval of others (Quinn Price)
  130. Honor the beat of my own drummer (Quinn Price)
  131. Respect for other religious traditions (Quinn Price)
  132. Teaching my children to think critically (Rachel Woodson)
  133. No longer see non-LDS as threats
  134. Greater respect for nature, the earth, and the environment (Heather Pond Brey)
  135. I am comfortable in my skin, at peace with self (Shannon Williams, Karla Clark)
  136. Knowing that I, a woman, am THE AUTHORITY in my own life. No longer needing a man to validate what I already knew/know (Kate Johnson)
  137. Bad things that happen to me no longer feel personal (Kate Johnson)
  138. Friendships for friendships sake (Mark Johnson)
  139. A sense of solidarity with all of humanity instead of just other Mormons (Don Nielsen)
  140. Feeling more empowered to make a difference in the world (Don Nielsen)
  141. Gay marriage! (Amy Jensen)
  142. No longer looked down upon for being raised by a single Mom (Amy Jensen)
  143. I can date who I want to date, no longer have to try to date men (Amy Jensen)
  144. No more Mormon singles activities (Amy Jensen)
  145. No more pressure to have to get married too fast or too young (Amy Jensen, Sarah Jo Lowery)
  146. No more “Saturday stomach” dreading Sunday (Tim Coray)
  147. Choice to have a child on my own through which every way is best for me.  (Amy Jensen)
  148. Swearing when I feel it’s necessary and not get a lecture for it (Amy Jensen, Allison Salisbury Larsen)
  149. Showing off my legs in short shorts and wearing cute sleeveless blouses (Amy Jensen)
  150. Realizing that Mormonism is very, very small and inconsequential compared to world (Jessica Bruin Curtis)
  151. No more awkwardness when someone doesn’t meet your Mormon standards (Laura Heath)
  152. The ability to be genuinely interested in others beliefs without feeling threatened in your own (Laura Heath)
  153. Freedom to be honest (Lori Cottam)
  154. Finding my own meaning for “God” (ReAnn Pendleton Christensen)
  155. More faith in humanity (Sharon Flood Kasenberg)
  156. Allowing my children to become who they become (Teresa Webster Danielson)
  157. Breaking the generational chain of orthodoxy (Sam Heller)
  158. A chance to develop my own sense of spirituality (David Sigmon)
  159. A chance to develop my own theology (or to consciously decide to eschew theology) (David Sigmon)
  160. No longer will people interpret or mistake my silence for agreement (David Sigmon)
  161. Keeping all the good! (David Sigmon)
  162. Found better church and/or community (David Sigmon)
  163. No longer carrying the weight of a “shelf”
  164. Enjoying the framework of skepticism (David Sigmon)
  165. Better mentors/role models for my children (David Sigmon)
  166. Better support during moments of crisis (hospitalization, death, birth, marriage) (David Sigmon)
  167. I’m a more loving, less anxious parent (Vanessa Dutra)
  168. Better understanding of my emotions, and of mental health (Lacie Oakey)
  169. I and my children no longer judge people for normal things such as coffee drinking, alcohol use, being a non-member, etc. (Lacie Oakey)
  170. Less stress (Judith Baines Homer)
  171. More authentic life/lifestyle (Steven-Becky Willson Johnson)
  172. No longer fearful that kids will leave the church (Steven-Becky Willson Johnson)
  173. Raising more well-rounded children (Steven-Becky Willson Johnson)
  174. Sundays are true family time now (Steven-Becky Willson Johnson)
  175. Non-exclusionary marriage ceremonies (Steven-Becky Willson Johnson, Michael Chard)
  176. Learning to come up with my own answers to problems after thoughtfully considering a situation/problem (Kristin Poulson)
  177. Family over church/faith.  Full stop (Kristin Poulson)
  178. No intentional suppression of gender (Kristin Poulson)
  179. No longer striving to sift between thoughts/feelings and “revelation” or “God’s communication” (Lacie Oakey)
  180. Feel more comfortable to go beyond LDS scripture for truth/wisdom/books/reading (Lacie Oakey)
  181. Feel more motivated to engage in genuine self-improvement, particularly in marriage and parenting (Lacie Oakey)
  182. Strengthened character (Tyler Adams)
  183. Better reading choices! (Tyler Adams)
  184. Better leaders/heroes (Marianne Dwyer)
  185. I view everyone more as equal now (Marianne Dwyer)
  186. Better connection with children (Tara Hendershot Beck)
  187. I am less stressed as a parent if my child makes mistakes. Mistakes are developmentally normal learning opportunities instead of “grievous sins” with “eternal consequences.”  This makes me less stressed as a parent.  (Tara Hendershot Beck)
  188. Parenting is less about fear/judgement/punishment and more about connection, reason, logic, health, etc. (Tara Hendershot Beck)
  189. No more sacrament meeting talks or lesson preparation (Tara Hendershot Beck)
  190. No longer having to pretend like I/we know things that I/we really don’t know (Lindsey Liebert)
  191. More self worth (Kristie Thibault Hanson)
  192. Less codependency (Romona Avis Linville)
  193. Better TV and movie choices (e.g., Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad, Outlander, Big Love, Sopranos) (Heidi Paskins Bean)
  194. Feel more comfortable to discuss doubts and fears (Ramona Avis Linville)
  195. No more nightmares (spooky Mormon hell dreams) (Vanessa Porter Judd)
  196. More freedom! (Melinda Reese Brown)
  197. No more making choice out of fear (Melinda Reese Brown)
  198. More motivated to work out and take care of my body (health) because I don’t have to hide it under layers of garments, shade shirts, and clothing (Melinda Reese Brown)
  199. I finally feel sexy again! (Melinda Reese Brown)
  200. I value time/my life/my family more because this is the only life I know I have for sure (Melinda Reese Brown)
  201. Enjoying being human. (Cecile Shellman)
  202. Wearing things that are more comfortable (Cecile Shellman)
  203. Do what I want with my body (Ramona Avis Linville)
  204. Freedom to reject the scriptures (Ramona Avis Linville)
  205. Freedom to believe the scriptures the way they were written (Ramona Avis Linville)
  206. No more toxic perfectionism (Lacie Oakey)
  207. Shopping on Sunday in Utah (lines are much shorter!) (Ramonat Avis Linville)
  208. Recreation on Sunday in Utah (snow skiing, golf, boating).  Much smaller crowds! (Lacie Oakey)
  209. Shorter wait times at restaurants on Sunday in Utah (bhale21)
  210.  Sunday at the movies in Utah (Tiercy Hadlock)
  211. Taking my personal power/authority back from church leaders, patriarchy, God, etc. (Ellie Jonathan)
  212. Less church-centered conversations (Shawn Bliss)
  213. Less awkwardness is social settings (Shawn Bliss)
  214. I am more interesting, intellectually stimulating, funny, and pleasant to non-LDS friends (Shawn Bliss)
  215. Less passive-aggressiveness in my life (Aaron Orgill)
  216. Living life more aligned with the teachings of Christ (Tammy Parker)
  217. Equality in my marriage (November Larson Merzlock)
  218. Better intellectual conversations (November Larson Merzlock)
  219. Better marriage.  Love is now a choice. (November Larson Merzlock)
  220. No longer afraid of the future (November Larson Merzlock)
  221. No longer afraid of death (November Larson Merzlock)
  222. No more self-righteousness (Tanisha Martin)
  223. Easier decision-making – no longer tasked with discerning the undiscernible (Tanisha Martin)
  224. I no longer feel like I have to have a companion to be happy.  I’m open to love, but I don’t “need” it.  Don’t have to worry about God’s approval. (Tanisha Martin)
  225. Cognitive flexibility – embracing, not fighting against the messiness of life (Danna Hartline)
  226. More freedom in the types of work I do now.  Don’t have to turn down jobs for companies that promote coffee, tea, alcohol, cannabis, “immodesty,” working on Sunday, etc. (Casey N.)
  227. Freedom of choice. I can make decisions without waiting for God to approve. (Jessica Joy Ledingham Tak)
  228. Freedom to love who I want to love (Jessica Joy Ledingham Tak)
  229. Freedom to speak how I want to speak (Jessica Joy Ledingham Tak)
  230. A clearer mind (Jessica Joy Ledingham Tak)
  231. I feel less heavy.  As it says in the Scarlet Letter – “She had not known the weight until she felt the freedom” (Jessica Joy Ledingham Tak)
  232. Artistic freedom with my body – tattoos, piercings, clothing (Allie Ewing Saunders)
  233. No more scrupulosity (Jen Blair)
  234. Freedom to dislike some people (Jen Blair)
  235. Ability to have conversations even if there is contention (Jen Blair)
  236. Sleeping naked (Brenda Fairbanks Calloway)
  237. No shame/guilt for normal sexual urges and desires (Brenda Fairbanks Calloway)
  238. Freedom to wear the cross (Bishop Earl Erskine)
  239. Free to not judge (Bishop Earl Erskine)
  240. Free to go to church anywhere (Bishop Earl Erskine)
  241. Free to not answer to any man (Bishop Earl Erskine)
  242. Freedom to enjoy life, vs. work toward an end goal that may never come (Rob Thomas Damascus)
  243. No longer neglecting my family in leadership callings (Rob Thomas Damascus)
  244. Sunday boating!
  245. Sunday skiing!
  246. Lazy Sunday mornings!
  247. Sunday golfing!
  248. Instant, deeper connection to strangers around me.  (Rachel Pulley)
  249. Dancing my ass off all night (Allison Salisbury Larsen)
  250. Sinning! (Allison Salisbury Larsen)
  251. Finding more beauty in the world (Luke Perritt)
  252. Increased personal growth (Whitney Quinn DeMass)
  253. Now my underwear is allowed to touch the ground (Tyler Slack)
  254. Freedom to not conform (Cecile Shellman)
  255. No longer view world as evil (Shayla Menzie McLaughlin)
  256. More time to provide service in meaningful ways (Shayla Menzie McLaughlin)
  257. No more “enduring to the end.”  Life is to be lived fully, not to be endured (Jeff Peacock)
  258. Free to explore and rejoice in the mysteries of life (Carli Bateman)
  259. No more “bunker mentality” to life/the world (Brian Cowley)
  260. Not having to repent for living as a sexual being (especially when single) (Cecile Shellman)
  261. Appreciating the fallibility and humanness in all of us (Shaun Rasmussen)
  262. Dismantling the ultra-nationalistic view that America is a better nation (Shaun Rasmussen)
  263. No longer embarrassed to reveal my religious (or non-religious) identity (Linda Perritt)
  264. No member-missionary expectation or guilt (Linda Perritt)
  265. Freedom to fall in love and marry someone out of the church (Linda Perritt)
  266. Sleeveless dresses and shorts that don’t need lengthening! (Linda Perritt)
  267. Big savings on fuel! (visiting remote wards on HC) (Linda Perritt)
  268. No more general authority talks/conference (Linda Perritt)
  269. More time to enjoy the outdoors (Tami Horvath)
  270. Growing my marriage to include things we find value in (Kami Escamilla Leatherwood)
  271. Freedom to pursue my dreams (Kami Escamilla Leatherwood)
  272. Freedom to determine my own family culture (Kami Escamilla Leatherwood)
  273. Freedom to say “No” to things I don’t want to do (Kami Escamilla Leatherwood)
  274. Freedom to say “Yes” to things I want to do (Kami Escamilla Leatherwood)
  275. No longer hearing all the ward gossip (Kami Escamilla Leatherwood)
  276. Allowing my husband and I to break out of the gender roles that didn’t fit us (Kami Escamilla Leatherwood)
  277. Not having to love EVERYONE makes the love I do feel for others more meaningful (Shannon Grover)
  278. No longer have to love all family simply because they are family. (Shannon Grover)
  279. Can take credit for my own accomplishments, and can value the accomplishments of others vs. crediting God (Jenn Marie)
  280. Can take responsibility for my own mistakes, and can hold others accountable vs. blaming Satan (Jenn Marie)
  281. No longer need to lie to my children (Kent Merrell)
  282. No “middle-man” between me and God/Jesus (Lance Earl)
  283. Freedom to not believe in anything religious (Tammy Parker)
  284. Women can give themselves permission to be intelligent, informed, strong, and engaged.  (Pattie Christensen-Ellis)
  285. No one gets to use the priesthood or “the spirit” as a cover for abuse. (Pattie Christensen-Ellis)
  286. Peace of mind (Deb Losee Cannon)
  287. No more white shirts! (Jason Barnum)
  288. Margaritas! (Jason Barnum)
  289. No more blind trust (Pattie Christensen-Ellis)
  290. No more obedience
  291. No longer needing an explanation for everything that happens.  Things just happen. (Ana Leyendo)
  292. No more feeling marginalized as a woman (Michelle Randall)
  293. No longer subjecting my daughters (or sons) to patriarchal inequality (Michelle Randall)
  294. Daughters no longer need to feel ashamed if they get a college education or want a career (Michelle Randall)
  295. No longer fearful about what might happen to my child on a mission (Michelle Randall)
  296. No longer fearful about what might happen to my child in a bishop’s office
  297. No longer fearful about what might happen to my child in scouts
  298. Kids will not be pressure to marry too soon
  299. Positive body image (Juliet Burk)
  300. Deeper conversations (Julie Burk)
  301. Greater compassion for all other humans (Sean Chambers)
  302. True happiness (Sean Chambers)
  303. Learning about who I am (Glen Jensen)
  304. Shaking off a false and negative identity as a Lamanite
  305. LGBTQ pride
  306. I no longer withhold love from my children to protect myself (in case they are gay, leave the church, etc.) (Jill Fellow)
  307. I can make healthier choices for myself and my family (Pattie Christensen-Ellis)
  308. Freedom to believe what I want to believe (Diane Holindrake Benson)
  309. Relationship with deity on your own terms (Asia Raine Dutson)
  310. Saving on the time and money saved not accumulating a year’s food supply (Juliet Burk)
  311. Tea!  It’s so goddamn good for you (Mark James van Kijk)
  312. The ability to say goddamn (Mark James van Kijk)
  313. Meaningful use of the F word (Jennifer Turner Evans)
  314. No longer see non-Mormons as inferior.  No more star belleyed sneeches (Jeremiah Jerry Gish)
  315. Harley Davidson touring bike! (Katie Croft Lamm)
  316. I know and own who I am, instead of putting on a show for others (Anne Gibbs Gish)
  317. I care more about others in suffering (e.g., homeless, drug addicted, youth), whether or not they are Mormon (Lorraine Twiss Dunnington)
  318. No longer worrying about remembering and repenting for every single sin for fear of not making the Celestial Kingdom (Brian Carlson)
  319. I have discovered the meaning/value of grace (Steven-Becky Willson Johnson)
  320. Freedom from strange rules – Like I was told that I was not allowed to use fabric softener on garments (Juliet Burk)
  321. No more emotional manipulation from the LDS church (Sheryl Adams Robison)
  322. No more coerced testimony meetings at girls camp (Sheryl Adams Robison)
  323. I have finally learned to like myself (Camille Hally)
  324. Deeper appreciation for the arts (Heather Pond Brey)
  325. Meeting the love of my life (Heather Pond Brey)
  326. The realization that those precious moments in life- those breathtaking moments- aren’t the Spirit- every human being can experience those moments- not just those that have been given the Gift of the Holy Ghost (Heather Pond Brey)
  327. Not having the elitist view that just because something bad didn’t happen to me that God protected me more than another person (Heather Pond Brey)
  328. Not having to be the Bishop’s wife anymore and feel like I couldn’t live up to the “image” (Heather Pond Brey)
  329. Not having to be the Bishop’s wife anymore and feel like my husband was a living, breathing part of the patriarchy
  330. A simpler life (Heather Pond Brey)
  331. Realizing I had more courage to leave the church than I did to join it (Heather Pond Brey)
  332. Not having to be called Sister Brey anymore (Heather Pond Brey)
  333. The freedom to swear if I DAMN well feel like it (Heather Pond Brey)
  334. Moscato (Heather Pond Brey)
  335. Honesty (Brett Bair)
  336. Free from the God monitor (Brett Bair)
  337. Freedom to create with my family a set of authentic, intrinsic family values (Traci Glenn Kittel)
  338. Raising my children outside of a world of fear (Traci Glenn Kittel)
  339. My daughters will now believe that they have unlimited options and potential in this world vs. wife and mother as the only respectable options (Traci Glenn Kittel)
  340. My daughters will no longer be taught that staying think, looking good, and finding a man to marry was/is the purpose of life (Traci Glenn Kittel)
  341. Seeing spirituality in everything (Traci Glenn Kittel)
  342. No more endless checklist you can never accomplish (Michael Tubbs)
  343. Being told what was “true” for 40 years and only believing in one “way” vs suddenly having a world of possibilities is awesome (Tracy Meunier)
  344. More self-confidence as a truth seeker (Aaron Orgill)
  345. No longer have to stay associated with a group I do not resonate with (Hilary Zwahlen)
  346.  As a women, feeling like I gained my sexuality back after taking off garments that made me feel sexless and bound (Hilary Zwahlen)
  347. Life in general just feels like it’s expansive in ways that were impossible before (Hilary Zwahlen)
  348. The world is colorful and bright with less fear, less definitive answers, and more hopeful questions to explore (Hilary Zwahlen)
  349. Recognizing that there are no such things as chosen, choice, special, or favored spirits or people of God based on what we did before this life, our lineage, where we were born, or what Pharisaical behavioral litmus tests with which we comply. (Anthony Miller)
  350. All are equal. All have worthy stories to hear. The value and importance of every human being gets elevated when the privilege and better-than vs. less-than narratives go away. (Anthony Miller)
  351. Exponentially magnified sense of empathy and compassion for our fellow human beings. (Anthony Miller)
  352. It’s so liberating to finally realize that not only is there not a special “chosen” generation/people but the weight that is lifted once you don’t have to live up to the expectations of being one of the chosen! (Katie Beutler-Gibson)
  353. No more missionary-driven ulterior motives in friendships and socializations (David Wills)
  354. I own my conscience now, and don’t feel conflict about doing what is right (Tyson Burnham)
  355. Normal thoughts and questions are no longer a crime (Tyson Burnham)
  356. Every day of life is a gift, not a test (Tyson Burnham)
  357. Now I’m free from fear. I can just be curious (Amelia Gutke)
  358. No more trying to fit a square peg in a round hole (Chris Gunnell)
  359. Giving ourselves permission to clean off the shelf where we put all of the inconsistencies of the religion. (Chris Gunnell)
  360. One of the biggest gifts is to “nuke our shelves” and never rebuild them.  I think that there is almost nothing more unhealthy than the model of “shelving” things in faith that further light and knowledge will be available some day, while suppressing our inner conscious and soul.  It is so much more emotionally and spiritually healthy to sit with and live with ambiguity than to claim false certainty while silencing our inner voice.  Nuke all the shelves!  (Anthony Miller)
  361. Our world becomes truly 360 degrees and no more tunnel vision. (Chris Gunnell)
  362. An appreciation for all types of people/families (Megan Bangerter Clegg)
  363. Making deliberate choices. (Megan Bangerter Clegg)
  364. Forced growth beyond my comfort zone. (Megan Bangerter Clegg)
  365. High sex (Tiercy Hadlock)
  366. Not wearing three layers of clothes in the hot summer-garments, shade, tank (Tiercy Hadlock)
  367. Nude beaches (Tiercy Hadlock)
  368. I no longer have to feel like I don’t belong or wonder if I’m unloved and unworthy because I never felt the spirit. (Tiercy Hadlock)
  369. No more visiting teaching, which always felt fake to me (Tiercy Hadlock)
  370. Nightgowns (Tiercy Hadlock)
  371. Knowing you are not alone (Lynette Green)
  372. Discovering that God, the Universe, Humankind, Life, Nature, Truth, etc. are all much, much bigger, better, and beautiful than I ever knew before.  (Andrew Ainsworth)
  373. Recognizing that Fear, Authoritarianism, Legalism, Judgmentalism, Bigotry, Sexism, Emotional Manipulation, and Social Ostracism have no place in both the true church of Christ and the modern secular world. (Andrew Ainsworth)
  374. No more shame being single! I used to wake up every day thinking I was failing myself and god by not being married and having children. Now I can embrace and love the various aspects of single life or embrace dating within my own set of guidelines, instead of a bunch of old men’s outdated rules. (Aimee Moon)
  375.  Recognizing the Elevation Emotion for what it is. That it is a beautiful part of our evolutionary design. That we can call it spirituality, or connection to God, or just Elevation, and it doesn’t really matter. What matters is that it binds us together and helps us to connect and grow as communities, families, and tribes. (Anthony MIller)
  376. No more ‘mother guilt’ – “I am a bad mother because my kids left the church” – replaced with ‘mother pride’ – “I raised smart kids who saw through the B.S. a long time ago!” (Bonnie Holman)
  377. Being able to talk about sex openly without feeling like you are breaking a rule (Jaynee Thacker Harrison)
  378. YOU are in charge of Your happiness (it doesn’t depend on if youre a daughter or son of god, or anything else but YOU and if you’re happy (Jaynee Thacker Harrison)
  379. A great love for the world’s religions, the truths contained therein, and the belief that God speaks to all His children. (Jaxon Washburn)
  380. I own my life choices. No more crediting/blaming a third party (god, satan, prophet, etc.) for my decisions, problems, successes…very empowering to know that the buck stops with me. (Amy Rich)
  381. No longer having to worry about whether I’m worthy today of a god’s conditional love. (No matter what some leaders may say… the Mormon god’s love is conditional and always has been). (Steven Seither)
  382. When certainty about a next life goes away, after we have grieved the loss of the certainty of a next life and come to terms with the temporary nature of life, the affect is often to magnify and enhance the significance and precious value of every opportunity, every relationship, every person we meet, and every moment we have in this life—because this may be all we ever get. (Anthony Miller)
  383. The purpose of life becomes to make a difference in the lives of others, to create value for others now, and to create a legacy/value for those we leave behind after we are gone. (Anthony Miller)
  384. The thought of a temporary existence—after processing the grieving and trauma from the realization of it—actually results in an exponentially increase in the value of life and all things due to its temporary nature. (Anthony Miller)
  385.  I’ve begun to live and love more fully than I ever had before! (Katie Beutler-Gibson)
  386. Service with no ulterior motives (Allan Mount)
  387. Not having to be embarrassed of association with all the stupid stuff. (Steve Bakken)
  388. Being able to more actively participate and select where the reallocation of charitable donations, time, and efforts go. This leads to greater personal ownership and connection with our charitable activities and efforts, with greater transparency. (Anthony D. Miller)
  389. A more robust understanding of God, revelation, prophets, scripture, religion, spirituality, ritual, covenants, and sacred myth. (Jaxon Washburn)
  390. As a person who has struggled with infertility, it was lovely to be able to shuck the cultural pressure to continue to have more children or adopt or foster or whatever. I can just mom my two and feel peaceful with that decision. (Dayna Kidd Patterson)
  391. No more submission (Amie Borst)
  392. Don’t have to wear a one piece bathing suit. (Amie Borst)
  393. No more awkward interviews with the bishop (for self or children) (Amie Borst)
  394. 20+ more hours a week to spend with my family instead of killing myself in callings that keeps me too busy to be with the people I say I want to be with for eternity. I get to be with them NOW! (Amy Rich)
  395. I think it’s kinda fun to think about the possibilities of an afterlife… the uncertainty is delightful to me (Sally Donnelly Taggart)
  396. My children will be able to choose what they want to do after high school, without shame, guilt or stigma (Sally Donnelly Taggart, Sara Lewis Johnson)
  397. Complete recognition of freedom and that *I* and no one else is in charge of my life. I don’t *need* anyone else. (Jesse Stay)
  398. The blessing of raising my children to love and accept others without the damaging judgement of whether they drank coffee, wine, smoked, went to another church or loved someone of their own sex (Jeanne Aldrich)
  399.  No longer having to compartmentalize my rational and Mormon selves. (Michael Shannon Riggs)
  400. Huge burden lifted to no longer have to own cringe worthy statements made by LDS leaders and their devotees. (Michael Shannon Riggs)
  401. I don’t have to worry about undoing damage done by harmful teachings to my children. I won’t have to teach my 7 year old that he is impure. (Sara Lewis Johnson)
  402. No more mental gymnastics! You dont have to wonder how the dinosaurs roamed the earth millions of years ago when God built it 7 thousand years ago…. (Jared Spotted Elk)
  403. We get to love LGBT people without reservations, guilt, or internal conflict. (Anthony D. Miller)
  404. No more responsibility for “worlds without end.” An eternity of work was never appealing to me!!! (Matt Lorenzen)
  405. Non profits I give to now are transparent or they don’t get my money. (Sally Donnelly Taggart)
  406. Time. Time that is all up to me in how I spend it (Megan Blair Miller)
  407. Being my own idea of godliness. (Robbie X Pierce)
  408. Rejecting “godly sorrow.” (Robbie X Pierce)
  409. Not having to read the Book of Mormon. (Robbie X Pierce)
  410. Not feeling like every choice I make has eternal consequences. (Robbie X Pierce)
  411. Family is whatever I define it to be. And I’m not stuck with them for eternity if I don’t have to be. (Robbie X Pierce)
  412. No more basketball games in a cultural hall ever. (Robbie X Pierce)
  413. Happiness now instead of after I die. (Robbie X Pierce)
  414. Reduced fear of harassment (Cathy Callow-Heusser)
  415. Freedom to choose what to do on Sunday (Cathy Callow-Heusser)
  416. No interruptions to all day family time on Sunday (Cathy Callow-Heusser)
  417. Didn’t have to feel like an “outsider” anymore (as a convert) (Cathy Callow-Heusser)
  418. Fully accepted for who I am by friends without having to worry about what they would judge me for (Cathy Callow-Heusser)
  419. No more being told to teach a lesson I questioned or disagreed with (Cathy Callow-Heusser)
  420. Being able to say (loudly) that dual pay scales male/female is NOT ok (Cathy Callow-Heusser)
  421. Not having to defend my LGBT family to others (Cathy Callow-Heusser)
  422. There’s no such thing as a bad thought: all thoughts *must* be considered and weighed in order to decide which one most resonates. (Daniel Webb)
  423. There’s no such thing as forbidden books: all arguments and evidence *must* be considered and weighed in order to determine which ones are most likely to be accurate, factual, and meaningful. (Daniel Webb)
  424. There’s no such thing as a bad person – there is only a person. All people say and do hurtful things and helpful things. (Daniel Webb)
  425. I don’t think I ever would have moved to another state by myself, which has been the most enriching experience of my life. (Meredith Rock)
  426. A reliance upon and acceptance of the best scholarship, research, scientific understanding, and revealed truths – both in the secular and religious realm. (Jaxon Washburn)
  427. Being a female with unabashed career ambition. (Katie O’Connor Ballantyne)
  428. More self-kindess. (Katie O’Connor Ballantyne)
  429. Better boundaries. (Katie O’Connor Ballantyne)
  430. Wider social circle. (Katie O’Connor Ballantyne)
  431. Permission to make mistakes (giving up perfection as a goal). (Katie O’Connor Ballantyne)
  432. Opportunities to develop spiritual (Elevation Emotion) intimacy with a spouse and family outside the constructs of Mormonism through direct service and contributions to others. (Anthony D. Miller)
  433. Not feeling inadequate because you haven’t written down your goals (or prayed over them), planned your life to the minute with a Franklin day planner, or started a journal. (David Wills)
  434. An understanding that the Church truly is a hospital for sinners rather than a museum of perfect Saints. (Jaxon Washburn)
  435. More empathy for all those experiencing a “dark night of the soul”. (Jaxon Washburn)
  436. A desire to seek truth from all sources without reservations. (Jaxon Washburn)
  437. The purging of legalism and toxic perfectionism from the Gospel of Jesus Christ. (Jaxon Washburn)
  438. I’m really and truly allowed to think for myself, as opposed be being told I’ve clearly got it wrong (despite personal revelation) because I came up with something different from what the church said. (Kodi Jeffery)
  439. No longer having to give bullshit justifications for practicing polygamy, not allowing blacks to have the priesthood, or Adam God  (Kodi Jeffery)
  440. Not having to come up with some assinine justification for discriminating against LGBTQ people and their children (Kodi Jeffery)
  441. Recognizing that telling LGBT people that they’ll be “fixed” in the hereafter is not what they want. (Kodi Jeffery)
  442. Being able to recognize that it is impossible (and silly…and a waste of time/resources) to identify and baptize/marry/endow every person that ever lived and not feeling guilty wondering about the baby that died in childbirth with no record.  (Kodi Jeffery)
  443. Raising women’s self worth (Kodi Jeffery)
  444. Feel more able to decide for myself whether to continue carrying a fetus if there are extenuating circumstances (e.g., rape, deformed fetus) (Kodi Jeffery)
  445. Less likely to have kids feel “forced to marry” due to a pregnancy.  (Kodi Jeffery)
  446. No more predestination, foreordination crap (Kodi Jeffery)
  447. Death of an omniscient, omnipowerful god, which never made sense given the suffering in the world (Kodi Jeffery)
  448. No fear of non-Mormons (Kodi Jeffery)
  449. No fear of learning (Kodi Jeffery)
  450. No more awkward moments having to explain to [people of color] that, while Mormon, you yourself aren’t a bigot. (Michael Shannon Riggs)
  451. No more awkward moments having to explain to LGBT people that, while Mormon, you yourself aren’t a bigot.
  452. No more awkward moments having to explain to women that, while Mormon, you yourself aren’t misogynistic.
  453. A more vibrant and dynamic understanding of sacred covenants. (Jaxon Washburn)
  454. Putting away my measuring stick! I used to constantly feel unsure of myself, that I was not enough and feeling I had to overachieve to validate my worth. I was constantly pressuring my spouse and my kids to live “the right way” and forgetting to love and accept them for the wonderful people they are. My relationships have blossomed by letting go of unhealthy expectations of myself and others. (Courtney Pope Guymon)
  455. Feeling whole, equal and no longer “just a little less than” as a woman.  (Courtney Pope Guymon)
  456. I have never felt more connected to my husband and children. (Courtney Pope Guymon)
  457. I have an insatiable hunger for knowledge and philosophy now.  (Courtney Pope Guymon)
  458. Watching curiosity explode in my teenagers as they eat up philosophical ideas. Watching them turn every idea and possibility over in their mind and evaluate how they feel, not checking to make sure their feelings line up to a particular dogma and feeling broken if it doesn’t.  (Courtney Pope Guymon)
  459. Not attaching meaning to suffering. The “I’m being punished” or “I’m being blessed” trap. (Courtney Pope Guymon)
  460. I feel responsibility to fix human problems in the world because “they” aren’t being punished or blessed either. I’m not waiting for God to do it. (Courtney Pope Guymon)
  461. This world and my place in it is so much more miraculous to me.  (Courtney Pope Guymon)
  462. Embracing the curiosity of why I am here and where I am going is far more exciting than being told specific answers to these questions.  (Courtney Pope Guymon)
  463. Learning to disagree in respectful but authoritative ways. (Courtney Pope Guymon)
  464. Had to learn that disappointing people is okay.  (Courtney Pope Guymon)
  465. Learning that “different” is okay. (Courtney Pope Guymon)
  466. Embracing a world view that focuses on my wholeness and goodness, not that I am broken and sinful and need to be fixed. (Courtney Pope Guymon)
  467. No more “enduring to the end,” just “enjoying life as it is” (Brian Jorgensen)
  468. No more thinking headaches (Emily Vandyke)
  469. No more nervous stomach (Emily Vandyke)
  470. No more fear of seeking accurate information about previously taboo subjects (Emily Vandyke)
  471. More appreciation for the good in everything (Emily Vandyke)
  472. More excited to make future plans. (Emily Vandyke)
  473. Loud laughter (lotusflowerjasmine)
  474. No more fear of my temple recommend being taken away if I’m open/honest about my beliefs/disagreements with the church (Sandra Carrigan)
  475. No more fear of being spied on/stalked on social media, and turned in to the bishop
  476. The ability to live life my way (Sandra Carrigan)
  477. No more fear of eternal polygamy (Sandra Carrigan)
  478. Pina Coladas (Jose Pellecer)
  479. Growing a beard/facial hair is ok (Jose Pellecer)
  480. No more waking tired kids up early on Sundays (Brenda Harris Pitcher)
  481. No more busy work (Brenda Harris Pitcher)
  482. No more bookmarks.  so many bookmarks. (Brenda Harris Pitcher)
  483. Freedom to listen to YOUR inner guiding moral light without the dictates of a religion clouding your view (Esther Vaughan Hatton)
  484. A testimony that “all are alike unto God” fully and truly. (Jaxon Washburn)
  485. Able to live my morals and values (Brooke Straughn Cheney)
  486. I give from my heart… zero sense of obligation. (Sally Donnelly Taggart)
  487. No more dark suits, white shirts and ties on Sundays! (Michael Shannon Riggs)
    Religious
  488. Rational thought (Steve Wagner)
  489. Better sense of humor (Sara Lewis Johnson)
  490. Halter tops! (Sally Donnelly Taggart)
  491. Better sleep (Gary Price)
  492. Short shorts! (Sally Donnelly Taggart)
  493. Discovering new friends (Eugene Kovalenko)
  494. Cigars and whiskey (John Moyer)
  495. Low cut blouses (Sally Donnelly Taggart)
  496.  Appreciating other people for who they are and what they believe. I enjoy being able to listen to them without hoping I can convert them to my beliefs.  (Courtney Hill Edwards)
  497.  The opportunity to truly go on a spiritual journey without someone else laying out the rules of said journey. (Tyler Robbins)
  498. I have a much more positive outlook on humanity and the world. The world is no longer a scary place that is becoming more “wicked” but a beautiful realm of possibilities and wonder where people are gaining more and more rights and opportunities as the years go by. (Courtney Hill Edwards)
  499. God. I didn’t trust God while I was TBM. I viewed him with suspicion because of polygamy and other policies that conflicted with my conscious. I was afraid to be truly grateful and happy, because I didn’t want him to send a trial to strengthen me. And the other half of me thought a good, conflict-free period in life meant God didn’t love me enough to chasten and humble me. I didn’t seek him in a trial for fear he would send more because I wasn’t learning my lesson well enough. Leaving the faith allowed me to view God as truly loving.  (Katie King Jones)
  500. AMAZING post-Mormon friendships.
  501. A deeper understanding of Love. (arrowsdrunkwithblood)
  502. A second youth! (iwilltake41husbands)
  503. No more hero worship.
  504. It frees up your interior design options! You can decorate your house with whatever images and proclamations you want! (KinderUnHooked)
  505. Book clubs are much more interesting! (KinderUnHooked)
  506. I love me. (DorcasDann)
  507. Responsible use of psychedelics (CommodorePoots)
  508. Not feeling manipulated by a Patriarchal Blessing (HeberSeeGull)
  509. No more dreading a senior mission when I retire. (Readbooks6)
  510. Espresso (CraigPaxton)
  511. Knowing beyond doubt that I am an evolved animal which has given me a greater love and appreciation for all life on earth in all of its forms (CraigPaxton)
  512. Friendships that aren’t based on belief (IT_vet)
  513. Arnold Palmers (John Dehlin)
  514. Knowing that I was tried and proven truthful. Knowing that I have courage to act my true convictions.  (mennomo)
  515. Chance to renegotiate relationships that were on false terms. (mennomo)
  516. Green tea ice cream. (mennomo)
  517. Competent mental health advice when I need it. (mennomo)
  518. It can cause a deeper desire to understand other traditions and philosophies. For me it started with Atheism, then Stoicism, then existentialism, then Buddhism… There are no right answers and there is so much to discover.
  519. 1 extra day a week means every 7 years you gain an extra year of life! If you are 40 at the time of your faith crisis and plan on living until you are 85- essentially you just added an extra 6 years to your life. And that is just accounting for Sundays, not to mention the fact you dont have to do a senior mission, weekday meetings, saturdays wasted on general conference, date nights to the temple etc. Soooo much added life. And for me 1 Sunday = about 3 or 4 regular days because it is so much more relaxing. (Nielnaderson)
  520. No more people coming into my life to gossip about me and discuss me in meetings (Nielnaderson)
  521. Don’t have to stand out as ‘that mormon guy that doesn’t drink’ when you go to a restaurant with your co-workers. (LilBner)
  522. No need to assume a prefabricated identity someone else made for you (MagnetoRobotics)

Comments 16

  1. Love myself. For the first time in my 36 years of life, I can honestly say I love myself. That feels so free, safe and powerful.

  2. inspiration and authority from within- no more religious leaders who interpret divinity/ spirituality for me

  3. This list!

    Someone said sinning, I’ll throw in being lazy and being offended–by the doctrines.

    No more (or fewer) garment feel-ups.

    Not waiting for God, the Millenium or the Second Coming to solve things like world hunger or oppression, but working to solve these things, now.

    Not staying in a marriage to an abusive man, placating myself with the idea that he’ll be kinder in the afterlife.

    Accomplishing something and being proud of that accomplishment without being concerned with being viewed as prideful.

    Making myself a priority is not selfish or narcissistic. It is nurturing and a sign of self-worth. It makes so that when I do give, my vessel is not empty.

    Bringing Heavenly Father’s sole wife–Heavenly Mother–out of the closet and placing her on a throne to reign as Heavenly Father’s full equal.

  4. No more ignorance by choice. Accepting truth as truth, and valuing the scientific method/enlightenment principles.

  5. The internal self-critic shut up and suddenly, I was “enough.”

    It’s OK to use marijuana and caffeine as medicine.

    I realized LDS culture used sugar to medicate and stimulate. I enjoy occasional cocktails, much less sugar and much better health.

    No more coerced social over-engagement for an introvert.

    Feeling amused instead of angry at the old-boys club. And being appreciated FOR my assertive, inquisitive, open-minded, take-charge attitude instead of IN SPITE of it.

  6. More acceptance of others and less judgement about those, including family members, who hold different values and ideas. Although now I am more ashamed about my former attitude towards others.

  7. I can interpret the scriptures myself, and don’t have to fit the square peg of Mormonism into the round hole (whole) of prophecy.

  8. Getting to read and study all the topics I want to and especially the ones that the church condones. Finally understanding the real reason the church condones certain books.

  9. I’ve been looking for other people whom might have reason to comment on a subject which has caused me a lot of mental anguish over the years:
    An overwhelming feeling of being watched by evil spirits and strange nightmares wherein I need to expell bad spirits. Also, very real physical illnesses that were worse while attending the Temple. Most of these experiences went away after “quiting” Temple attendance! I had one particularly disturbing experience in the Temple that actually made me question my sanity. Now I no longer consider myself a member of the church, and after a few months of “freedom” I feel like a huge mental burdon has been lifted.
    So, I would say the benefit of my “faith crisis” is life without mental anguish from whatever was bothering me spiritually and physically for sure!

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